He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The ass gains better be worth it
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