I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
