if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
