420 ftw
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
