come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
