Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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