Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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