He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I party with great urgency now.
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