I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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