ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
