Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
