You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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