I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
