I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm at about main and main street
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
