Don't make out with my wife yet
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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