Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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