Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
