So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
40s are totally the cure
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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