I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
