My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
