We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
