He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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