Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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