this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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