This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
bring money and cleavage
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
