am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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