Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize