He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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