Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
