i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Green mimosas i think yes
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
