Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
