Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
