Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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