I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
