she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
