the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
