Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
