You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
