I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You are the jesus of drinking
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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