All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize