ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
