i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
