Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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