you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
