obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
