just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
