Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
