i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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