let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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