I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
