I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
