she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
we're so committed to being not committed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
