Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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