I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Randomize
