you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
