I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
